Eternal Responsibility

In the last sixty years the image of the nuclear family has changed dramatically. A father, mother and children living together under the legal contract of marriage is being replaced by different forms of families. Single parent, fatherless, co-habitation, blended and same gender families are commonplace in America today. However, the switch from nuclear families to the variant forms mentioned above have caused some disturbing trends.

In the "State of Our Unions 2012," the authors describe several ways that families are affected by atypical units. They claim changes in government programs, penalties and policy could help the reformation of the nuclear family. Although these ideas are commendable and had noteworthy applications, I can't help but wonder how America's view of families would change if we understood the unit of the family as an eternal doctrine. 

President Spencer W. Kimball (1980) said, "Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us." So how do we begin to believe deeply and actively in the family?

 I am the mother of four children. The wife to a loving husband. I was raised in a good home with two parents who loved me and were concerned for my well-being. However, I have often selfishly thought of what life would be like if I didn’t have the responsibilities of family life. When I read President Kimball’s quote I asked myself if I truly believe in the institution of the family. It has been an honest question that has led me to a lot of personal contemplation.

I think the first thing we do is recognize our responsibility to this eternal arrangement by becoming solid in our marriage arrangement. Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "I strongly urge you...to face up to the reality that for most marriage problems, the remedy is not divorce but repentance. Often the cause is not incompatibility but selfishness." When we act selfishly our concern is not for our spouse, or for the promises we made to them or to God. When we are selfish we do not take responsibility for our actions and the inclination to move away from our spouse and children becomes more tempting. When this happens we start to lose the feelings of the Holy Ghost and the truths we found in the doctrine of the eternal family. This is what causes separation, divorce, and the many ill fated family units that the "State of Our Unions 2012" discusses. 

There is a solution to increasing the percentage of nuclear families and confident marriages and it is not in political agendas. The changes must happen within ourselves.

First, take responsibility for your actions as a spouse and parent.

Second, learn how the doctrine of eternal families persuades you to behave better for the long term.

Third, follow the promptings of the Holy Ghost until the truth of families is something you "believe deeply and actively in." (Kimball 1980)